Here are some of the most
commonly asked questions about this web site, these cartoons, and this
Remember that there are no
stupid questions, just stupid people who ask the same questions that a
zillion other slobs have asked already.
Note - these questions
are in no particular order, so when you see yours remember that your importance
is not indicated by the order in which your question appears, rather your
importance is indicated by how much money you make and how much stuff you
Q: Just what are you
trying to do here? [must be asked with a suspecting squint.]
A: Primarily, having
fun. I brought the strip back because I simply love drawing it.
Q: Where do find the
time to do all of this?
A: Some time ago, I
played the entire Moody Blues “Time Traveller” box set of CDs in a single
day and was warped into a different space-time realm than the rest of you
- so I have a lot more time to work on this stuff. Seriously, however,
I have been told by the experts that I have a hyper-active cognition...
in other words, while the body may be a couch potato, the mind is going
at warp speed. So, I’m always formulating my next creative production.
Q: Does Scott O’Grady
know you were making fun of him?
A: Haven’t heard from
Q: Do you think Bill
Clinton will find out you are making fun of him?
A: I don’t think that
Bill Clinton knows the planet is making fun of him.
Q: Does Klyde Morris
have a girlfriend?
A: Nope, he’s living
in single guy hell.
Q: How come Klyde never
had a girlfriend at Embry-Riddle?
A: Because most “Riddle
guys” don’t have a girl friend, and thus could not relate to Klyde if he
Q: Will Klyde Morris
ever re-appear in the Avion?
A: If the Avion staff
asked, I WOULD absolutely allow them to run the strip from off the web
Q: How come we don’t
see any female ants in the strip?
A: I don’t draw them
well, but I’m working on it.
Q: I wish that you were
here [at Embry-Riddle] writing comics today. There is some funny stuff
in this strip that nobody would understand unless they attended Humpty
Diddle's School of Poverty.
A: Interesting how
some of the stuff that I wrote 15 years ago can be applied today.
Q: Are Elar and Klyde
A: Yes... they are frigging
cartoon characters you knob! I made them up! Seriously, you can find
that complete story in the “About
the Characters” section. And you are not really a knob, because
anyone who logged onto this site is cool by definition.
Q: That’s some crazy
stuff that you have written, you must be stoned all of the time.
A: I do not smoke,
never touched a drop of booze in my entire life, and never dropped a drug
harder than Tylenol. I’m normally this crazy. My wife says that I’m the
only person that she’s ever met who can go to a party and get “contact
Q: I think that you
go a bit overboard.
A: Go overboard?...
hell I start overboard and work from there.
Q: Where’s this all
A: I have no frigging
Q: Why do you bother
flying around when you are so talented in so many other areas?
A: Two words= Pay Check.
Believe me, I’d get outta this professional aviation crap-storm if I could.
Q: What has the university
had to say about the return of Klyde Morris?
A: Officially, the
university has never had much to say about the strip at any time, perhaps
because they knew that I would use their own words to make them look silly.
The only actual reaction that I’ve seen so far was when the Director of
Alumni Relations was told that something such as this was coming, she meekly
tucked her hair behind her ears and said, “Whatever you’re gonna do, please
don’t do it until after homecoming.”
Q: Do you ever have
a hard time writing a cartoon strip?
A: Nope, never had
writer’s block. Occasionally I have gotten a little “dry” but I just clamp
on some head-phones and put on a little Allen Parsons Project, and the
Q: Do you know that
there are typos on your web site?
A: Do you know that
you are anal-retentive? I’d suggest therapy, preferably something involving
Q: When do you get your
A: Any time, any place.
In college I used to carry a small note book and scribble ideas as they
hit me. I often get my best ideas late in the evening. My wife has gotten
used to me leaping from bed and running down stairs to draw up an idea
in the middle of the night.
Q: Some of your cartoons
offend me, aren’t you afraid you will offend people?
A: Actually, I’m afraid
that I wont offend people - you in particular.
Q:; Sometimes I don’t “get”
A: You are obviously
an illiterate moron bordering on retardation - just look at the nice
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